K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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