Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
