Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
