i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
