Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
