Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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