Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sober January is a disaster.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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