it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
