do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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