About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
