I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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