I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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