Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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