yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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