shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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