we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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