I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
