Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
