like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
