White coat. Heels.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
