Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
