I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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