Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

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(254): View more from Texas

The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach

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(860): View more from Connecticut

we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.

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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(970): View more from Colorado

That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..

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(319): View more from Iowa

Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud

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