Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
