I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
