Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
420 ftw
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
