The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
