i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
