Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
