She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
