I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
BRING THE BAGELS
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
