so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
