i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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