Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
