Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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