Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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