I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
