We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she looked like the before picture.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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