just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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