So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
