"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize