I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
