Well apparently he's into motor boating.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize