You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
