While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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