I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
