Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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