U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
