Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
