So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and she was petting her beer can
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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