Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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