Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my being single is dangerous.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
