You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
