I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize