I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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