new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
