i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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