One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Two words: blizzard sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
