Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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