I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
