K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize