I look better un-naked...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
