You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
