My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
