had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
