Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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