i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
