That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
