He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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