I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize